Choir Practice At Grandma's

My grandmother on my father's side was holding a choir practice, together with dad, and the rest of his siblings. They, as well as I, were all in their twenties, and we were going to rehearse the song "när jag var en ung soldat". Grandma Ingrid, or "Ing" as she lovingly was called, was behind the piano and the rest of us sat down to sing. Me and dad were in the back. Ingrid gave everyone the same starting key except for me, as if I was supposed to be the only one with a harmony. Being the only professional singer in the room, this didn't surprise me. As we started singing, I was struggling a little bit with finding the tune, as it was new to me. I tried a classical approach to the sound, but my dad kept giving me sideway glances.

When the music stopped and grandma started going over some things with the front rows, my dad told me to stop messing around. I first thought that he didn't like my classical take on the sound, but it seemed as if he just didn't want me to sing yet, as if it was time for the others to sing first. I told him that I had already gotten a key to start with, so I figured I might start to try and make my way through the song, as I was sitting in the back. Even the text was new for me, so it seemed good to try and sing along at my best. In the meantime in the front, grandma seemed to start to be a little annoyed with us, chattering in the back, as well as over the slow progress the rest were making. I felt that dad was stealing my focus, so I decided to move up to the front. Dad followed, however.

Sitting down near the front rows, where three of dad's siblings were sitting (it was quite a big room with only dad, me, grandma, grandpa, and dad's three siblings in, so no real reason for me and dad to be so far away), grandma wanted to start over from the top. As she lay the start chord, however, dad interrupted.
"Mom, mom!"
"Yes?"
She was clenching her teeth, clearly annoyed by now.
"You should be grateful towards me" dad continued, standing next to me, "because Hjalmar almost sang 'klätterman' instead of 'flottarman'".
She looked at me at this point.
"We will have none of that" she told me, "you will sing the right words or you will get out".
"Of course" I said, quite unperturbed by neither my dad's telling on me, nor grandma telling me off. "Still, this song is completely new to me, and we are rehearsing, after all. Some words do get wrong from time to time, but that's what rehearsal is for - to make it perfect".

I remembered the many times me or my colleagues have lost the words on stage, occasionally stumbling or unintentionally replacing them with something else, even after having performed the piece a hundred times. Grandma wasn't convinced, however, and almost lost her words. There was a quite tense atmosphere in the room, as grandma apparently was quite stern and all her children was eager to please. It was quite clear that no one responded to her this way. She looked at dad, telling him that I was his child and that he should teach me discipline. He gestured towards me, acting frustrated and powerless as if nothing helped. I think he even might have been stomping the ground.

Grandma turned back towards me.
"I should give you a beating for that" she said quite menacingly.
"Yes, do that and I'll floor you straight back" I replied with a little smile.
The room fell silent.
"Oh, come on grandma" I continued. "Let's stop this nonsense. We could be doing this all night or we could rehearse our song". 

The Royal Wedding

I was touristing about in Stockholm and had decided to take a closer look at the Royal Castle. The streets were quite full outside, so I parked my bike on a side street. As I got back, the road outside the castle had been completely cleared and a procession was making its way out of the castle gates. I saw one of the squires (or hofmarschalls, marshals or marshmallows; whatever they are) giving me a sharp glance as I was suddenly the only person in the middle of the street. I quickly moved to the side.

As the procession came out in full I could see the King and the Crown Princess on a splendid white wagon. Apparently she was getting married. The King held a microphone and soon started singing. It sounded something like a mix between a folk song and a hockey rhyme, where the crowd was supposed to repeat what he sang. After he finished the first line and the crowd started repeating it, he forced a big smile. He continued singing as the procession made its way up the road, and I decided to follow on my bike, which I apparently still was on, though I considered getting the other bike, which I had parked, because that one was somehow better. I decided that I didn't have the time to get the other one and started making my way after the whole spectacle.

They were a little bit too fast, however, and soon had made a lot of headway.

Flying to Denmark

Linda and I had brought a ring to Anders, which he was supposed to have for a party. 

He sent us a message indented on a strange black box, saying that he didn't need it, though both me and Linda thought it said the opposite at first

Anders then told me that he had gotten a new gift at Löplabbet, which apparently was selling high grade chinaware. 

I was walking with Gustav Söllscher and two others, one of them was probably Carl-Johan Kihl and I thought that they wanted to go to Löplabbet as well, but they wanted to go to a second hand shop for music and instruments. It had a name, but I don't recall. Something like "tunes" or "thrift". Very hip.

It was snowy outside. 

We went into a candy shop, where most things seemed to have been sold out, the others bought stuff and I didn't know what to get. I wanted to get something, so that the others wouldn't think less of me. Then I realised that I couldn't possibly have finished my orange soda already and I started looking for it, going into a shop that I had visited before, but without finding it. Then I realised it was in my left hand and started making excuses in front of the others, being so distant minded.

We went down an escalator into the ground, headed for a place for gamers. 

Landgren took an elevator, while the other two headed down some stairs 

The elevator doors closed just in front of me and Landgren didn't open them for me, being absorbed in his phone. The others didn't wait for me, either. 

As the elevator came back I didn't manage to get into it. It was an openly hanging elevator, without a shaft, and there was another one next to it. Because I couldn't get into the elevator, I grabbed on to it from the outside, following it as it was going up. I could see the word XCOM being written above the door arcs, where the two elevators would let people into the gaming bar. So there I was, hanging from the outside of the elevator, trying to force open the doors. I realised that I couldn't and that I soon had to let go. I closed my eyes and let go, all the time thinking Alt-F4, trying to hack reality so that I would wake up somewhere else. 

It worked and I was running outside Hubertusgården at dusk. I ran past old friends from back then, not looking to closely but thinking that one of them must have been Louise Hansson, hearing her voice and seeing her blonde hair, and then I took flight. 

I thought back on old tries of trying to fly, thinking how I never got really high. I realised that I must have made the mistake of putting too much effort into it, fighting against the wind, when in fact I needed to just soar, letting the wind carry me. I felt like a pigeon, soaring higher and higher over Spårsnögatan, telling Johannes Loor and Ludwig Wase, who were sitting at a café, that it was all about just going along with the wind. 

Lund became smaller and smaller, far below, and I started to drift out over Öresund, headed towards Copenhagen, when I suddenly got really tired. 

I saw a blue whale below the water. 

Orcas and grey whales were suddenly jumping below me as I kept getting closer to Copenhagen, but also losing height rapidly, as I found the strength to make it all the way being sapped from my body. I started to give up and felt myself settle unto my back.

I must have landed on the water, because before I knew it I was rescued by Günther on a jetski. He sang his song, the one about tra-la-la and ding-ding-dong, as we reached the shore and he started to undress me. Apparently he had mistaken me for a girl, because when taking off my small clothes, he didn't expect to find a penis. I found it hilarious. He wondered why I was just floating around in the sea.

We were in a bar, where suddenly some people started singing Nu Grönskar Det. I sang along and as we hit the second verse suddenly a man's choir, which had been sitting by one of the tables joined in loudly as well. We all started walking around the room, crossing over chairs and couches, singing about "vandringsfärd", and this was apparently how you were supposed to do it. I made my own harmonies and as everyone stopped before the last line, I put some extra effort into it singing "så drick min vän..." and everybody joined in and we finished it nicely.

Two blonde Danish sisters, looking like a combination between Zandra Green and the Brandt sisters, had been watching the whole thing and I ended up next to one of them. She wanted to join in with the swedishness and started to read a Swedish translation of Calvin and Hobbes for me. I leaned in closer and she put down the paper and we started kissing. Everyone else was falling asleep. She lay on her back and I lay myself on her. She liked how I weighed her down and pushed myself at her, commenting very verbally on this. 

Likely based on:

- Carl-Johan Kihl had posted about snorkeling with whale sharks the day before, which I had commented on 

- Found a choir to try out the day before 

- Had seen a t-shirt of Calvin and Hobbes on Facebook 

The Matrimony and Other Obscenities

I was getting married to a girl. She was a brunette and no one I recognise from real life. I remember reacting to the fact that I had barely met her and that her waist wasn't as thin as those of my previous girlfriends. But I loved her and didn't care. So, there we were, man and wife, talking to my mom when I suddenly start kissing her in the middle of the conversation. Realising this, I apologised to mom. I remember thinking that I was glad that I at least didn't start fondling her breasts there, in front of everyone.

A little later we were trying to sort out the costs for the marriage, together with our parents. I remember owing hers some money.

Skip.

I was guiding some people through the town of Lund, showing them my dad's old studio. I got tired and decided to go to bed. My room was opposite that of my step brother's, who was now living in the studio. I saw him in the room, but it takes me a while to realise what he's doing. Turns out he has folded himself over, sucking his own cock. Disturbed, I ran to my bed, pretending to be asleep before he can see me. After he has finished and goes to shut his windows, he sees me lying in bed. He smiles at me innocently, but I have my eyes half closed, pretending to sleep.