Curly Blue Innocence

I was at a roleplaying convention and kept running into a guy, strolling around harmlessly with his girlfriend. He had blue, curly hair and together they were both very jolly and friendly but, for whatever reason, whenever I ran into them it was with some kind of insult or the like, putting him in a bad light even though it was never aimed at him.

He kept brushing it off, laughing because he liked my podcast and felt that it was fun to be made fun of by me. I still felt bad about it, however, because I had never meant those insults to be directed at him. He just happened to... pass by.

I was a prince in a World of Warcraft-like scenario and we were defending our base. I was trying to have barracks built and troops trained, but my allies wouldn't take the attack seriously, letting the enemy orcs just stroll into our domains. Indeed, the orc seemed harmless, just strolling around but I knew that if we let their numbers grow then they would ultimately attack and we'd be vastly outnumbered. So I charged towards an orc, shouting "NO QUARTER!", impaling him on my sword. Then I swung around, channelling the forces of nature into a mighty gust of wind, which through my sword point became a sharp beam of air, piercing straight through the belly of a two-headed ogre standing several metres away, almost turning him inside out. My spinning momentum carried me unto two more foes, lazily strolling along, and I swept my razor-sharp sword in such a powerful motion that it struck the scalp of one of them straight off.

Then I realised - it was the blue-haired boy.

Once again he had accidentally ended up being in my way, only this time the situation was deadly. We all ended up going to the hospital. His situation was critical yet my strike had been so smooth that it miraculously hadn't hurt his brain, which was now exposed. He was conscious. Laughing. Saying that surely good old Hjalmar hadn't meant to kill him. Surely it was just an accident.

I heard him saying this from where I was sitting in the room next door, worriedly eating some crisp bread. The room looked like the cantina of my primary school.

His mother came in. She came over to me and started talking very seriously about everyone making fun of and bullying her timid and gentle-spirited son. Surely, if anyone, the great Hjalmar would have been above such things, but - oh no! - I had to go and lop his scalp off.

"You probably already know that they have nicknamed him Cunt-Simon".

Cunt-Simon? Aaah, his name is Kent-Simon. Glorious.

Cunt-Simon was currently in a critical state, about to go into surgery, but it was too funny. I corpsed into a huge burst of laughter. She took my glass of water and threw it in my face.

The Vampire Fight

I was in Lithuania with my mum, trying to find the best bus to Latvia. It turned out to be bus number 80. We first entered a mountainous region and later on the bus took us into what seemed to be a city inside a cave, where we would stop for an hour-long break. I decided to not leave any belongings on the bus, because people didn't seem trustworthy. I didn't trust Eastern Europeans.

Exploring the cave, I met up with Craig who was a bloody mess. Literally. He wore a white t-shirt, soaked with blood. He was turning hardcore vampire and just couldn't handle it. I was Batman and decided to take a flight around the cave, but as it was very dark I had to mutate a bit and learn to navigate using sonar. I flew around a pebble beach, which my mum and Siri were exploring.

A little girl by a pond told me about the many spiders in the cave and I saw that there was indeed many spiders. In the cave. Around the pond. Underwater spiders. Not too big though.

Meanwhile Craig was getting very angry with me for not wanting to be a proper vampire so he decided that he would attack me. I was sitting in a rubbish bin along the Greek coast, roleplaying V5 and Håkan Andersson commended me for my dedication. I almost fell of the edge of the cliff on which I was sitting in the bin, but managed to pull myself up.

Off we went flying, me and Craig, both of us turning into bats and him being the very angry bat Craig that he was, he was trying to kill me. Martin had us both roll for our Bed Sheet (lakan) skill, in which we both had 19. We both succeeded, but me somewhat better, so I made it away from him.

Meanwhile, he was attacking my power plant, which turned out to be a repair depot, from a cliffside, using his hum-vees and heavy, double-barrelled tanks, which had all been clumped up in one square. I was able to construct a Mammoth Tank, which blew them all off the cliffs, and then was set to guard that particular path.

Putting girls on Fire and Chester Bennington

I was at a big festival with Siri. It was nearing its end and we were gonna get a final breakfast. I broke off from the group for what seemed like a nice breakfast tent. Once inside it felt like a giant circus tent and in absolute euphoria I started flying around inside it. Someone complained and I asked if everyone was fine with it. Everyone put their hand up except one girl. I decided to respect her opinion but was boiling with anger.

Outside the tent I waited for her. When she came out I called upon all my magical powers to darken the skies and trying to bring down lightning to strike her. She screamed and wondered what was wrong with me, but I couldn't be stopped. When lightning didn't strike I instead channeled my powers to set her on fire and didn't stop until she stopped kicking and screaming.

Later on the toilet I saw a poster of my sister's friend Frida. Apparently it was her that I had killed and her family missed her greatly. I woke up and was wondering if I was a psychopath, seeing as how I didn't know I was dreaming when I killed her. Or did I?

Back to sleep. I was riding in a car with Chester Bennington. We were roadtripping. He looked like he was in his early twenties. It took me a while to realise how cool this was and how impressed my friends would be, so then I tried taking some selfies, but he wasn't happy with them. It turned into a photo session there on the road.