Ice Skating in Japan

 I had rented some sick ice skates and was enjoying myself at the rink until closing time. Mum and a few others were there and it got a bit crowded as we headed for the tube. She was going some other way though and I just missed my train. Probably should have gone on the same as her.

Stood waiting on the platform when a lady asked if I was going on or not. I then noticed that there was a track beneath the tracks, where instead of the Shinkansen-like train that were running on the ordinary tracks would have been going, a brown train was waiting with its doors open. I had to jump down on the Shinkansen tracks to get to this one and got on.

The train was thick with people. I got a seat and was surrounded by little blonde girls, speaking in English. One of them mentioned how what someone else had said had "hurt their pupils" and I was making a mental note that that's how kids talk these days. Unfortunately it seemed I made that mental note out loud and with a laugh, because the kids got offended and left. 

Two other girls came and sat next to me. They were kind of staring so I asked, in Swedish, what was up. They turned out to be Swedes themselves and told me that I looked like some celebrity and showed three different ones as they couldn't make up their minds. I'd never heard of any of them and felt old thinking how it used to be Orlando Bloom, but these girls might not even know who that is. They were going to a place called "Hana no Mura" (Heroes of the Storm reference?) and I realised I didn't know where I was going.

We got off and talked about ice skating. Apparently it was something I was practicing and wanted to get better at. One of them pointed out that she had skates too, but none as sharp as my "pipes" (some kind of slang for a part of the skate). It was then that I realised that I was still wearing the skates. They were so comfortable that I'd completely forgotten about them. Looking at them, I realised how sleek and nice they were, coloured in stylish Swedish colours. I got terribly nervous because of how strict the Japanese would be with this things, though, and wondered what my fine would be if I returned them tomorrow. The girls seemed to think I'd gotten away with stealing them, but that felt wrong. They were really nice skates.

I put on some music and they started dancing while I was trying to get the skates off and get into my normal shoes. We were at some park and all the snow made it really hard just to put my shoes somewhere without them getting full of the stuff. One of the girls started to dance to my music, which was some kind of remix of a Greatest Showman song, and I was going to ask her if she had a choreography for me. It was fun and exciting and they had a lot of frozen sweets that kind of looked like tapioca balls. 

Shark Suit

I was breaking into a secret cave of a super hero. Over a chasm was hung four different superhero suits and I had to jump from one to the other in order to get over it and get to the next door. The final suit was a "shark suit" - it didn't actually look like a shark but it seemed like some supreme underwater suit. I needed to wear it in order to proceed into the cave and past the doors.

I did proceed and I think a lot of stuff happened, but suddenly a lot of people showed up and the cave was the hq for a scuba diving association. I had changed clothes and was half-naked for a little while and had to spend a lot of time looking through all the diving suits to find "my" shark suit again. Some little weasel responded to my call and started to help me find the shoes.

Once I had it all a diving instructor said that he'd go diving in the Mediterranean this weekend and we were all welcome to join him. Then we dove into the waves with a lot of men, as it was time to get back and the only way was through the sea. 

Shark Photos

I was sending Mattiaz some PR photos for the podcast and realised I had a few with me and Klara in them from a recent shark diving trip. He was delighted, as apparently we had done quite a few shark-related posts that week. Craig had been on the trip, as well, but he didn't want to go diving as much as stay on the boat (another boat from me and Klara) and read, so there were no photos of us together. 

That encouraged me to go on a second shark diving trip and as me and Klara were walking to the boats, she asked how it had gone with the songs from the last trip. I had almost forgotten, but apparently I funded the entire trips for everyone to just come along and listen to the latest songs I had been practicing. Klara remembered their titles as "Sex" and "Chameleon", which was correct, though I had forgotten them completely.

Ah, the decadence.

The Antidote

I was in a war zone with a big group of people. I had a feeling they were artists and their faces were familiar. Most of them were younger than me. A mishmash between USJ colleagues and former classmates. Possibly also GYRP'ers.

Information had reached us that the enemy was using a specific poison (I had been trying out Hitman 2 yesterday) and most were nervous. There was, however, an antidote, of which we had plenty. My nervous (and quite young; teenagers to people in their twenties) brothers- and sisters-in-arms started applying the antidote over their entire bodies. I just shook my head at them - it was meant for ingesting and only in case someone was actually poisoned.

We had been stationed in a tall building, but made our way down. I have a feeling it was a very aerial landing, somehow. There were plenty of people with their children vacationing and relaxing in pink swimming pools. In the middle of the pools stood a toilet seat. I had to go and a lot of people were watching, and I remember being embarrassed as I was the only one using it, but at the same time I felt a bit of defiance, thinking they should have constructed it differently if they didn't want people to do it this way. 

There was going to be a ball and everyone was looking for a date. Mine was going to be Katrina Polyzou, who was once again a teenage GYRP'er. There was a great celebration, as if she (or we) had won something, and she lip-synced to Helena Paparizou's "My Number One". I recall being surprised that she knew such an oldie, despite the singer being half-Greek. We ended up in a cool finishing pose, sporting curly brownish red wigs, and there was much rejoicing. 

Getting out of Russia

 It was my last day in Russia. I had been working there and enjoyed my time in the city with Simon and Karsten. It was a beautiful, sunny day.

I'm the end, it was time to go get the luggage at the hotel. I went in there with Simon and told Karsten that we'd meet outside (by the kebab place?) afterwards. 

However, in the hotel I couldn't find my room. It was a combined office for my colleagues, with a lot of nooks and small rooms and I was looking for a sign saying "undead", because that was the team I had been on. As I kept going through the different offices, all painted in the same lemon colour and filled with people and paperwork and small doors on the sides, I was unable to find the sign. 

I asked a janitor where the "undead sign" was. He told me that there were no undead here. I was confused, until I realised that there was a staff change happening; perhaps the team names had just been changed. The janitor didn't know anything about that, but I also remembered at that point that I'd cleared out my room and only needed to pick up my luggage in the reception.

As I exited the place with my bag and jacket in hand, it came to me that Simon wasn't with me. I didn't have time to think about that, however, since I soon needed to be on the train to the airports.

I looked around and didn't know where I was. Yes! That way! I started running with my hands carrying bags and jacket trailing behind me. It occurred to me that I must look stupid, doing what mostly resembled the Naruto run, but then I noticed how incredibly fast I was and hoped to myself that people who thought I looked silly at least acknowledged that (interesting bit about needing other people's approval imo).

I had been running down a large road that I thought led back to the place I was before, but I ended up being more lost and had to consult my maps on my phone. Turns out this had been a side street and I needed to go back again and find an even bigger one. I started running again, but kept getting more lost. I tried getting an idea of local traffic and any bus or tram I could take, as there seemed to be plenty of both, but the app didn't support it.

Feeling how I was starting to lose hope, I tried hailing a taxi. Then I saw a young woman, which I felt compelled to follow.

My head filled with her narration of a story about an abandoned fun fair, which I was now entering from the side of the street. I came to be walking upon tracks of an old roller coaster, which was going through a room with small hills and turns. Other people were there, too, and I could see one of them falling straight through the floor at one place, where it clearly appeared that what we were walking upon was artifical scenery, meant to be seen and not treaded on.

The young woman told of the old fair ground, her voice speaking in my head as if I was watching a film, and how it had been abandoned and she didn't expect anything to be there. 

"but then I heard the restless Draugr" 

A door opened slightly, just where she was standing, and I saw her listening intently. Through the gap in the door I could see a pair of rat-like men, arguing over which way to go. The air was tense as these were clearly dangerous creatures and the woman was close to them now. One of them dropped an ear-ring of sorts, which was adjoined to his other ear, and he needed to bend down just through the gap of the door. He stopped, as if he'd sensed the girl... But decided to go back in. 

Getting Home through the Lakeside shark celebrations in London

I was getting off the underground with about 30 minutes to spare before I had to take another one to get back to my place, thinking I'd have time to go with Johan Landgren to his place and discuss music. We talked about Ayreon and how composers should be able to use the same effect/riff in more than one song without being castigated. 

I was going on the last underground in London for the night and was worried that I'd forgotten my backpack. I found it between my legs and made it out of the final station, together with Jonathan and a few other USJ colleagues. They left their bike lamps on the ground claiming they didn't need them at this hour. I peeked out and saw that the sun was indeed going up. Still, I figured I might as well bring one of those lamps.

Good thing I did, for when I started pedaling I noticed that it was darker than I thought. I was going along what seemed like a railroad track and up a hill of thick gravel/rocks like the ones they use along railways. My bike wheels wanted to get stuck, but I pedalled on and attached the lamp. It was first shining with a yellow colour, so I had to press it again to use a white light.

Well over the hill the railroad track was changed for planks over water, and we were going alongside what seemed to be a big lake. There was a festival going on, so there were a lot of people going the other way. One of them was a small, dark-skinned boy and Oprah Winfrey came to interview him. For some reason, she (with a fair bit of regret, I should add), decided that he had to die. She began twisting his neck, but it was rubber-like. I had to try as well but the boy didn't mind and proudly said that he was the chieftain of some tribe. Oprah was very impressed by this and decided that he didn't have to die, after all. We ventured over a small wall along the plankway, this also decorated with bright cloths because of the festival, and left the little chieftain standing on the top.

The plankway wasn't finished the whole way and started to become quite popular with people celebrating their festival. It felt like they were mostly Brazilian. There eventually was no plankway at all and so we moved along the shore of the lake, occasionally wading or even swimming in the water. A few of the celebrating Brazilians had sharkfins on their backs and would swim along the water, trying to scare people, all in good fun. 

We, though it was only me at this point, reached the end of the celebrations and the end of the lake, where there was only a female travel guide left, trying to get with the last people. I asked her where I was, because it looked like countryside and barns all around me. Heck, there were even a cow and a bull, skipping around each other in some sort of pasture, which we seemed to be in. I tried to determine if the bull was dangerous while she answered that she had no idea where we were. I took out my phone and my GPS was going haywire, jumping all over London and showing rivers that I could possibly have been following.

The travel guide told me that there were no buses around here, but I should be able to get a taxi, somehow. I waited for my girlfriend, whom I wasn't completely sure who it was, so that she could order a taxi for us. 

The Fuck Deck

 I was with Martin on a cruise ship. It felt like a big party boat with a lot of young adults. I remember signs pointing to places like "party room" and "the fuck deck". Martin was being a bit slow, so I explored a bit with Joen, going on a miniature indoors ferris wheel and some other silly things. I kind of wanted to make new friends, though, and maybe meet a girl, so I started chatting around.

I saw some people that I recognised from secondary school, or possibly the military. Old acquaintances with immigrant backgrounds. The one name I did recognise, apparently I'd gotten wrong all these years (I'd said Fissnick, but apparently it was Fisnek), but after correcting myself and ordering a drink, I was all right with the group. They went on ahead into another room while I was going to pay.

My purse was filled with a jumble of different currencies, but none of them seemed enough to pay for the drink in one go. I started paying with Japanese yen, when my pounds weren't enough. It wasn't enough either so I found an envelope in my bag that I thought might hold more. It didn't and I looked up helplessly at the bartender.

"It's all right, I'll remember that you owe ¥50,000", he said with a smile. It didn't feel much at the time, more like a relief. I took the drink and realised Martin was there. He was wearing a kind of high-tech hazard suit and I realised I did too. It was part of some kind of game we were playing. I was keen to go see my new-found friends and maybe a girl, but he wanted to go on the mini ferris wheel and do some other stuff that we apparently did the last time we were on this cruise together.

I told him I'd already done that with Joen and headed into the party room with the adjoining fuck deck. My new friends were sitting with a whole group of girls and one of them showed immediate interest and asked if I wanted to go smoking with her. I said I used to smoke cigar but not in a long time. Seemed like we were going smoking. 

Monster Truck VR

 I was in Småland, coming back to Sweden after all my international work. I felt like a Big Fish. We went to a fair for games and tech and I found myself looking at some VR goggles (just like I had done the night before at the Den lounge douzo party).

In no time a man was gearing me up in layer after layer of VR accessories, until I was completely encased in a power armour-like exo skeleton. I hardly felt it was there. He lead me to what looked like a monster truck and almost lead me to the wrong side, looking embarrassed as I remarked "ah, so it's a British truck" in my best RP accent.

"Yes! Are you British?"

"No, I'm Swedish, I just lived there for a while", I continued, still in English, as I got in. The VR kicked in and I didn't notice my suit at all anymore as I saw the last of the guy and closed the door. Ahead was a landscape of broken down  vehicles. I started driving (after fiddling with the pedals), spinning around rapidly, maxing out the steering wheel spin and enjoyed the suit's simulation of g-force.

It was a lot of fun and I (with some effort)started running over the husks of the old cars. Somehow I found my way out of the yard and to where people were. I was starting to have trouble turning. The steering wheel didn't reset, so it was impossible to know what was straight. I ran into some things, including a kid, that I wasn't supposed to and the suit shook. I was frustrated, driving around what looked like Arabian houses and bazaars. 

Were I an Eagle

 I was a were-eagle. How I found out I don't remember, but I was flying over Arild, seeing my eagle kin maneuver with the winds around the seaside and following their lead. It didn't take many flaps to lift my high, to soar majestically.

I communicated with dad, somehow, and told him that I was now a were-eagle. He could come out of his house/boat to see me, if he should like. As he came out and I landed on a boat next to him he gave off a gasp. Then he pointed out that he thought I'd look fully like an eagle.

It was not until then that I realised that my chest and face were still human and as I saw this, my wings started to feel more like arms, too. I turned around to Jesper and he said something along the lines of "yeah, I don't buy into it". I replied along the lines of "yeah, well I don't buy into you".

I tried to fly off, to regain my grace, but without proper wings I only stumbled a few meters of the ground from desperately flapping my arms. 

Then I found out that Jespers dad had died (probably through a flashback to a news article of the passing of his dad, along with emotional music) and suddenly I was the only male role model he had. He was a teenage boy and walked off snivelling.

Perhaps I needed to choose between my own eagle's splendor or being there for him.

The Dating Debate

 My friends, family and all my USJ colleagues had come together for a grand meeting at Spargodt. There were festivities and drinks and I was the host of the party. They were all there to get to know Roha and somehow it turned into some sort of evaluation of her.

The next morning we all gathered in a big, square, empty room an my dad started talking about how we'd all gathered to determine if it was appropriate for me and Roha to date each other, but he quickly interrupted himself by pouring some luxury orange juice and mixing it with beer, exclaiming "jättengod!". 

I was about to take the word and get to speaking, just to say that that wasn't at all the reason we were there and that me and Roha were just friends, but she started talking instead. She said how we'd had quite a bit of wine yesterday and looked at me for support, though I didn't remember having anything of the sort, then went on to talking about all the people in the room that she'd spoken to, though what she really wanted to point out was that her BEST FRIEND WAS A TRAITOR BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT ROHA'S BIKE TO THE PLACE BUT THEN REFUSED IT TO BRING IT INSIDE AND UNLOCK IT EVEN THOUGH ROHA DIDN'T KNOW WHERE THE KEY WAS and it went on like that for a bit. I couldn't help thinking how immature she was, but I let her go on, just to see what she'd say herself about the dating situation.

She then started talking about the practical matters of where she could move into the house if it came to that, indicating the small room between the stairs and the kitchen on the bottom floor. 

I looked at her a bit closer and she didn't look Japanese anymore. More like Arabic. And she had a unibrow. It wasn't very pretty at all. But she was my friend and that's all that mattered, I decided to myself. We'd take it easy and keep hanging out, just as we had been. 

Back to Hogwarts

 I was Harry Potter. The story had come full circle and both me and Ron were taken back to the beginning of it all, and we were once again going to start our studies at Hogwarts. However, we remembered everything and felt a general sense of self-confidence, as opposed to when we originally started there. We already knew the spells and we knew how things would turn out.

This impressed Hermione, who wasn't reincarnated the same way, and I felt a general attraction to her. Ron didn't care much about her and she liked me, too. 

I started to wonder if it would all go wrong and if we're better off with our memories wiped. 

The Woman who Bought Me

I was arriving at what was supposed to be some kind of market hall together with some woman at least ten years my senior. She was buying exclusive egg and bacon for me at some sort of buffet. I had a feeling I was her escort and she was spoiling me. 

Eriko's House

Eriko was going to have a party and I had promised I'd come over and help her clean. We were hanging out at her place and it had a lot of theatre vibes. Suddenly I felt our vibes were more than friendly, which none of us had really intended, so we got to her showing me around the place.

It was on the top of this pillar of a mountain. Super cool and high up. I remembered wondering how they pulled water lines all the way up here. There were old wooden terraces with nothing but hundreds of meters of air under them. Seemed a bit like a really old place. There were other occupants too, who me we didn't meet. Kind of like a house-share feel in a place where stuff had just accumulated. 20 odd chairs, carpets and nothing matching, really. We went to the back of the place where she gestured that someone else lived.

I looked around the remainder of the hill outside and saw a lot of water running along the ground, probably from a recent rainfall. Julia showed up with a big dog (the wrinkled face kind) and one of Signe or Anton. The water was accumulating in a natural sort of bathtub on the hillside and she explained how the big dog loved taking a bath there. There was another bath that she showed me as well.

We also saw a group of pug pups. She looked at them regretfully and explained that you could see if they were a healthy litter by the amount folds on their noses. Four, apparently, was a good amount. She didn't think these ones would be able to breathe very well. Their noses were slightly pinkish. 

The Fires of Austria

Me, Simon, Mum, the sisters and Andrea had gone to Austria for a ski/snowboard holiday. It was late in the day when we finished with the rentals but because it was a weekend, the slopes were open extra late and me and Simon were keen to go. As we started down the first, gentle slope, me and Simon quickly got bored and took a side track.

It wasn't off piste and it wasn't too tight, but we slowly started picking up speed. It was great, feeling the rush of wind against my face as we started to accelerate. Then, suddenly, the piste opened up and just ahead of us was almost a straight fall. We barely managed to stop just in time. Turned out we'd found an extremely steep slope. While it was still covered in snow, it looked very dangerous.

We decided that we'd be able to get down on the left side of it, where it was still pretty steep, but safe enough to just plough down slowly with the boards. Then we heard a loud siren. We quickly realised it was an avalanche warning. Luckily, we'd ended up on a peak and weren't in danger, but we could see the enormous masses of ice and snow; chunks as big as apartment complexes loosening and tumbling down the hillside of a nearby peak.

Suddenly, fires erupted from the ground around us and we had to start dodging through them as we made our way down. We occasionally got caught in the flames, setting our clothes on fire and we had to douse them in piles of snow. Another guy, cosplaying as Kakashi, joined us and we started down together, only stopping to douse flames in snow piles.

Finally, we reached safety in a restaurant where the girls were as well. Mum explained that the fires were from wells of oil that had burst from the pressure of the avalanche.

The Simpsons in Sydenham

Me and Wictor were doing a Simpsons show for Spontaneous Productions in Sydenham. I had a few scenes before I was to come on as Marge and I was handed my big, bulky costume. I practiced the voice and it seemed to be there. I opened Wictor's script and I realised I hadn't read it yet! It read: Marge speaks with a hella Brummish accent. I didn't know how to do a Birmingham accent so I started to feel the panic. I put down Wictor's script and had some vague thoughts about whether I even had my own script or not. Well, for the accent, maybe I had time to listen to a quick YouTube clip for inspiration while changing into the costume. Then I realised SHIT, I DON'T KNOW MY LINES! And I snatched Wictor's script again and started reading. There didn't seem to be any set lines for me. All I could see was that Marge was supposed to come on, wanting something from Homer and, not being able to speak properly, would show her gratitude in doing snow angels on the floor once she got her way.

My panic grew and tore me out of the dream.

The Baseball Bat Bullies

As I was walking to my train I was being bullied by two guys, walking behind me calling me names. They wanted to provoke me and get me violent and kept calling me names based on my dad's role in some semi-obscure sci-fi series. Unlike what I told the police later, it wasn't Star Wars and my dad wasn't Harrison Ford. I think he was Asian.

I turned on them and they saw this as their chance. They pulled baseball bats out of their very baggy jeans and one of them came at me swinging. I disarmed him and knocked him down on the floor, now having his bat in my hand and swinging twice to get the other off balance before lunging and hitting him straight in the head, knocking him unconscious and off the train platform down unto the track. It was like I was a blademaster with a bat. A batmaster. The other guy started crawling away. I threatened to break his knee-caps and when he didn't stop I did so.

A policewoman showed up and wasn't very eager to help. She told me they were a small Swedish town and with the police spread far and wide. Plus, she had a date tonight so, since I seemed fine couldn't we just let this one go? She didn't pay any mind to any of the bullies, neither the one unconscious on the train tracks or the one whose knee caps I just broke with a baseball bat. Of course, I couldn't let this one go - what if they came with guns next time? She sighed and tried to bargain for me to talk to one of her police colleagues on the phone; perhaps he could give me some advice. Besides, how would those bullies possibly get away with walking around with baseball bats in public? I pointed out that they had very wide, 90's style hip hop jeans and she agreed hesitantly that it seemed plausible, but why would they attack you?
  "Because I'm the son of a sci-fi series celebrity!"
  "Surely you're not. Who?"
I didn't actually know the series or the role my dad played.
  "You know Han Solo in the Star Wars Saga?"
  "Your dad is Harrison Ford?"
She clearly didn't believe me, but I insisted and she started to be convinced.

Instead of arresting anyone and keen to get away on her date, the police officer now called her colleague as she had offered. They chatted gaily on speaker before I chimed in and claimed to be the actual purpose of this call. I explained the situation and he started to give me some lazy advice, clearly not worried about my future safety.

I showed a WhatsApp video, that some bystander had filmed, of what had happened to Valeria. In it you could see me laughing about and being silly, doing wire work with another actor on a train station.

The police officer had found a lot of left-over food from the restaurants at the station, so we sat down to eat that. The salmon cakes looked lovely.

Me and Siri were walking along a prettily decorated rivulet at someone in my extended family's place. I messed up the stone banks and Anna Sellberg came to tell us to not do that.

The Audition in Norway

I was going to pick up Julia to go to Norway for an audition. She was still in primary school, so I was waiting outside the daycare centre, not sure where she'd exit. Also, there were some foxy ladies, probably babysitters, about to pick some kids up and I delayed a bit on purpose. I was on my phone, secretly listening in on a conversation between one of the daycare ladies talking about where Julia was. She heard me breathing and so I hung up and tuned into another call that they were making, revealing that I was there and that I was coming to pick up Julia. It was grey and rainy, probably in the autumn.

I was sitting down at a table outside of a house, somewhere in Norway, on a lovely summer's day. We were a big crowd of people, mostly dressed in white, and they all felt kind of mafioso. One of them was looking at me strangely and behind me. I was pretty sure he didn't like having me there and was looking to "off" me, somehow. I suddenly showed up behind him with a knife to his throat, citing his living address and letting him know that if I should suddenly die, contingencies were in place for him and his family. He understood and promised to back off.

Kristofer and I took our things and started to leave for the bus that would take me to the audition. I had had WiFi in the house, so my Google maps had given me a bus route and we'd just walk there. Thinking of what I'd sing and what kind of audition this was, I tried to clean off my dirty bare feet and get them in my shoes. I asked Kristofer about the guy whom I had threatened; if he was a big player and dangerous to mess with. Kristofer told me to think of him more as a side player. Not a star scorer. Someone who could be replaced. He noticed I was carrying a small PET bottle and asked if I was bringing that to the audition. We went up a flight of stairs and I said that I'd likely find a rubbish bin on the way there. I was going to take the bus, after all, and we had some way to go to get to the bus stop.

I saw another PET bottle, just lying around, and figured I might as well pick that up as well. However, I clumsily dropped it and it started falling down the stairs, so I quickly reached out with my psychic powers to try and grab it. It twitched a little and then kept going down the stairs. I complained to Kristofer that this was what my telekinesis had come to these days. He muttered something, imitating me and clearly jealous that I had telekinetic powers at all. I tried ruffling a flower, holding my hand near it, and that was about all the power I could muster.

We reached a group of traditionally Swedish red and white houses and it was now winter and big droves of snow everywhere. The sky was darkening quickly. I started putting the rubbish I'd now accumulated - which turned out to be a big styrofoam box of stuff - in the correct recycling bins. It was too much. I had to get to my audition. So I just put the box down halfway through and we set off towards the bus stop. Suddenly, an old native American appeared beside me, quite menacingly. He told me he had seen what I had done and had to finish the recycling for me. I answered quite apologetically, knowing that this was half a man, half a spirit always was watching over me. He explained that even he had not managed to finish the recycling, for I had indeed accumulated so many things, and we came to some sort of apologetic understanding of neither of us being quite enough.

We had to hurry now, to get to the bus in time, so Kristofer passed straight through some of the houses. I looked at my Google Maps on my phone and it looked like we had gone a little too far, but I was thinking that perhaps I could just take the bus from a station further down the street. As we came out on the other side, it was summer again and the sun was shining. We hit the main street and the main bus station - but none of the buses was going where I was going! My cousin shrugged and told me that he had just been going to his own bus, not to mine. I had to scramble up the street to where Google said my bus stop was, thinking desperately about what I was going to sing at the audition and my voice felt like sandpaper, also thinking of how I would pay the bus driver when I didn't have any Norwegian money, when suddenly I was on a bus, about to set me down at the stop from which I was going to take my other bus. As I got off I was wondering how I had paid for that bus and how it came to be that I was suddenly on it. My reasoning was that it was free to travel by bus in Norway, as long as you were going within the same metropolitan area.

I was able to catch my bus, still not sure about what I was going to sing, and suddenly I was dancing together with Knut and Susanna, who both wanted the job as well. They were dressed in gorgeous goth clothes. Knut had a black tulle skirt, just transparent enough to see his high stockings and high, high red heels.

The Scarlet Pimpernel

I was in some sort of camp with Siri and I had to go take a poo. She showed me a toilet, but it didn't have a door for safety's sake. I didn't care as I really had to go and luckily no one came by as I filled the white bowl to my bowels' content. Good times. I then found another toilet, which had a door, so I shat in that one too. They were both slightly dirty.

After that, I went on to have a shower and there was no door to the shower room either. I took it quickly and though it was somehow difficult to control and wanted to spray over my trousers and all the stuff that I had brought me to the camp, I didn't lose my temper. I recall being very impressed and a bit surprised over this fact.

Siri came in as I was finishing up and it was time to go. I was going to shoot a small part in a film with Hugh Jackman. It was my first time in a Hollywood production and I was terribly excited. Mr Jackman himself had dressed up like Freddy Kruger as a sort of inside joke about how he always played roles with metallic claws. I entered the set and there were loads of fans standing around a cordoned-off area. They weren't there for me, but some had seen me in a recent theatre production and cheered when they recognised me. I met Hanna Karlsson among them and she was impressed with how far I had come. She told me that I was going to play the part of the Scarlet Pimpernel. When I reacted with surprise since I didn't even know that myself, she mistook my ignorance for my part for ignorance about the character started to explain who he was.

I realised I hadn't gotten a script yet and tried to steer my dream into actually being a rehearsal, seeing as how it would be terribly embarrassing to show up to an actual shoot not knowing my lines or even my character.

Chris Thile

I was hanging out with Chris Thile. It was winter and we were walking in the snow. I asked when he started playing the mandolin and he frowned and said something like "probably as early as I could walk". He told me that his mother gave it to him and I got images of how he always sat playing, wherever she brought him, while he was waiting for her.

Spiderbro and Green Gobbro

Spiderman was fighting Green Goblin, the latter having the upper hand, grabbing and throwing the former through the floor and then following after. The next clip Willem Dafoe / Norman Osborn was in a suit, getting punched up hard by a Spiderman, sitting with legs across him. Then he was back in the suit again, but a more powerful one, carrying a rifle. Spiderman was in a mecha armour, dressed up for Halloween, with a big plastic rifle. They were outside in the street, where other people were dressed up as well.

"Mine is a rail gun, what's yours?" asked Osborn. Realising he'd lost, Peter Parker was at Norman's mercy. Norman decided to walk Peter down the street before finding a place to execute him. He treated him to a meal from a self-service street food vendor; a plate filled with various calories like stewed potatoes and macaroni along with bacon and maybe coleslaw. They took one plate each as they wandered down the street, eating as they went. As I assumed the role of Peter I looked back at one of the vendors and it was Dave, the translator at USJ.

We were on bikes then, riding around and being a bit silly, knowing the gravity of what was to come. We rode past trailers and buildings were quite run down. I rode straight through the door and into the living room of what seemed to be an elderly couple. The old lady of the house, looking a fair bit like my late grandmother Sonja, strode out into the room and when she saw me and Norman her mouth started watering at the prospect of having two younger men at her mercy. There were clinking chains going about, but none of us was very intimidated by it all. I raced the bike towards a window and broke through, its shards running along my arms and painfully cutting my fingers.

Blood appeared and then disappeared as white strands started sealing up the wound.

The Books on Flying

I was meeting up with a very successful entrepreneur. He looked to be in his twenties and was quite friendly, talking about the revolutionising book he had written that made him famous. I suggested that I write a book about flying, hoping to be successful myself, but he said that plenty of books about that had been written already. I jumped out from his balcony and flew away.

A girl was naked and enticing me. Fairly short, tanned, brown straight hair going blonde in places, grey eyes. We started having sex when she suggested that I tried something even better. I was ecstatic and agreed. She then fetched some kind of drugs and it became clear that she was trying to hook me up with some kind of subscription. I just wanted to blow my load in her and leave at that point.

I was flying around quite a bit, landing on talll buildings. Some people thought it was cool, other didn't care. I think Siri was there, urging me on.

I had sex with another girl. She might have been blonde and a bit more curvaceous.

(woke up exhausted and dry)

The Little Psychopath

I was doing a Froggle Party for a school. I was in the middle of a room, doing the early show stuff of warming them up when I noticed that they had seated pupils behind me, so I had to re-arrange the whole table and get all the students placed in front of it. This completely lost their concentration and I had to fight for attention as I brought up the first kid who somehow already had gotten ahold of both my collapsing wand (which looked longer and more crooked than normal - he wouldn't let it go so I couldn't do anything with it) and one of my normal wands. I couldn't do any gags with it and it all just felt a bit hopeless.

I tried to do the introductions of the magic trick by asking the kid for his name, but he was being silly and presented himself as Pinocchio or Transformers or something along those lines. After joking about a bit and him continually refusing to say his actual name, I got slightly annoyed and asked him seriously what his actual name was. He got nervous and said "lalala?", which I thought was another silly joke from his side and so I said "all right, lalala, how old are you?", which caused a big gasp from the teachers and the kids, including the one I had up, all seemed shocked as if I'd done something really bad.

I realised that him saying that was a nervous tick and something not to be made fun of, so I sat down with him and said "listen, it's all right, I'll be nice to you". He was small and blonde and he leaned in and whispered "thanks, you see I'm a bit of a psychopath".

(When I woke up and went on YouTube I was randomly suggested to re-watch the TED talk "Strange answers to the psychopath test by Jon Ronson")

Scorpion tail terrapin.

I was in my old room at mum's house. There were now two aquariums of terrapins and I had completely forgotten about them for the last eight years. Somehow the terrapins had still survived and happily multiplied and there were now at least twenty in each aquarium, some of them as small as the nail of a thumb.

There was also a really big red-eared slider (which I just found out was the name of that particular breed of terrapin that I used to keep), about the size of the inner circumference of a typical car tire, which was kept outside of the aquarium. However, it needed some water and so I began the project of getting it into one of them.

It ended up with me having one of the tiny terrapins sitting on my hand and on its back seemed to be an even smaller creature, which had a form of scorpion's tale. I remember having the feeling of it not being able to sting me because it was a terrapin that just happened to be misshapen when I felt a sharp sting in my finger. I had to take a pair of tweezers to try and pull the stinger, which was now deeply embedded in my finger, out. I couldn't manage, it was stuck.

(I woke up with a sharp pain in my finger, unlike any kind of normal pain I'd felt, and completely untraceable. I was too tired to make a fuss out of it and find out what could have caused it. Instead, I went back to sleep and didn't feel a thing when I woke up in the morning. That day we ended up at a flea market at a huge temple ground, with a pond full of, yep, red-eared sliders)

Winnie the Pooh.

Mum gave me a really, really old copy of Winnie the Pooh, which she had wrapped with tape crossing the cover, and even some of the pages, so bits of text and pictures were lost as I tried to unwrap it. It had a lot of pictures, sort of in a Mamma Mu style, and I particularly remember the arguing crows, sitting in molehills in the ground.