Snail bacon

I came to visit my girlfriend, who was hanging out with a big group of dudes at some sort of camp. They were playing football and two of them were singing a lot during the match. They seemed really nice and it made me want to be their friend. One of the two really looked like the owner of Café Adagio in Addiscombe. The ball bounced off field, straight towards me, and I covered my head in an attempt to look silly. It bounced on me (and I immediately wished I had done a cool header instead) and up in the air, only to come down on me again and then up in a tree. It must have looked really silly and everyone in the field gave me the "who the hell is that and what is he trying to do?"-look. Realising that I had spoiled my chance to look cool, I acted the clown instead and joked about that not only did the ball decide to come straight at me, but it hit me twice and then got stuck in a tree! They laughed at this and I felt socially accepted.

We went to hang out and I was served some snacks. Looking closer at it, it was tiny pieces of bacon. My girlfriend looked a little embarassed, when I didn't know what it was. She explained that because we were vampires, of course we could only eat meat, and this was bacon made out of snail, as a snack.